Burnout sneaks up on you like a memory leak in production – it’s subtle at first, but over time, it takes everything down with it. Software engineers, in particular, are vulnerable due to the fast-paced, demanding nature of tech work.
The 12 stages of burnout identified by Herbert J. Freudenberger and Gail North provide a roadmap to spot the warning signs early. Let’s look at each stage through the lens of a software engineer’s reality, complete with real-world examples.
Stage 1: The Drive to Prove Yourself
At the start of your career or a high-stakes project, you feel an overwhelming need to demonstrate your worth. You might dive headfirst into the most complex tasks or volunteer for work beyond your experience. This stage often stems from imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or fear of being perceived as inadequate.
For software engineers, this could mean eagerly taking on that huge refactor no one else wants to touch or staying late to learn a new framework you think will impress your peers. You may obsessively reread your pull requests, ensuring every line is perfect, even for trivial changes. This eagerness, while commendable, often results in overcommitting.
Real-World example: An engineer fresh out of a bootcamp volunteers to rewrite an entire service in a language they’ve barely worked with, hoping to show they “deserve” their spot on the team.
What to watch for: A constant feeling of inadequacy despite positive feedback. Overpreparing for meetings, or replaying conversations in your head to analyze if you sounded competent.
Actionable insight: Your skills are valuable just as they are. It’s okay to pace yourself and acknowledge that proving yourself isn’t a one-time event – it’s a continuous journey.
Stage 2: Working Harder and Harder
Once the drive to prove yourself sets in, it’s easy to slip into overwork. You might start taking on more tickets than anyone else during sprints or saying “yes” to every request, even if it stretches you thin. At this stage, you equate working harder with success, and it becomes difficult to set boundaries.
For software engineers, this could mean coding into the early hours of the morning, skipping proper testing to deliver on time, or even solving issues outside of your domain just to be helpful. Productivity becomes your identity, and you judge your value based on how much you “deliver.”
Real-World example: A mid-level engineer takes on both feature development and infrastructure improvements for a release cycle, refusing to ask for help. They skip retrospectives – or code during them, believing their time is better spent fixing “just one more thing.”
What to watch for: Chronic fatigue, losing focus during meetings, and a growing pile of unresolved tasks.
Actionable insight: Start by setting boundaries around your time. Overwork rarely leads to sustainable success, and it’s okay to delegate or say no to requests that aren’t your responsibility.
P.S. A lot more things don’t have to be your responsibility than you think.
Stage 3: Neglect of Personal Needs
In this stage, work takes precedence over everything else. Meals become optional, sleep is sacrificed for late-night deployments, and exercise feels like a waste of time. Engineers in this stage may lose touch with activities that once brought them joy.
For software engineers, this might look like skipping lunch because you’re “in the zone” or declining a weekend hike to debug an issue that could wait until Monday. Over time, these choices add up, leading to physical and mental exhaustion.
Real-World example: An engineer spends their evenings firefighting production issues, eating snacks at their desk, and forgetting to drink water. They wake up groggy and repeat the cycle, telling themselves they’ll rest “after the next release.”
What to watch for: Increased irritability, physical fatigue, and loss of interest in hobbies you once enjoyed.
Actionable insight: Schedule self-care as if it’s a meeting. Block time for meals, movement, and sleep. Even a 15-minute walk can recharge your mental batteries.
Stage 4: Displacement of Conflict
As stress builds, frustrations emerge – but instead of addressing them, you suppress them. Maybe you’re annoyed by poorly defined requirements or a teammate’s lack of accountability, but you stay silent to avoid conflict. This bottling of emotions adds internal pressure.
For engineers, this could look like quietly fixing code you believe is subpar instead of bringing it up during code reviews. You might avoid asking for better documentation, telling yourself it’s faster to figure it out alone.
Real-World example: A senior engineer spends weeks cleaning up a coworker’s messy code instead of raising the issue, eventually feeling resentful and undervalued.
What to watch for: Avoidance of critical conversations, irritability over minor issues, and a growing sense of unfairness in your workload.
Actionable Insight: Practice constructive communication. Bringing up frustrations doesn’t have to be confrontational – frame it as a way to improve team processes.
Stage 5: Revision of Values
As burnout deepens, you begin to deprioritize what once mattered most – relationships, hobbies, and personal goals. Work becomes your main focus, often at the expense of your life outside of it.
For engineers, this stage might involve turning down dinner with friends to hit sprint goals or shelving a side project you were passionate about because work feels too draining. Personal milestones, like anniversaries or family birthdays, take a backseat.
Real-World example: An engineer skips their best friend’s wedding because they feel obligated to meet a self-imposed deadline for a feature that isn’t critical.
What to watch for: Excuses like “I’ll get back to [hobby or activity] after this release” becoming routine.
Actionable insight: Remember, work should support your life – not replace it. Reconnect with the people and activities that energize you outside of work.
Stage 6: Denial of Problems
At this stage, you begin to downplay the stress you’re experiencing. You convince yourself that it’s just part of the job, or you blame external factors like tech stacks, clients, or management rather than acknowledging your limits. The refusal to admit there’s a problem means you’re less likely to seek help or make necessary changes.
For software engineers, this might manifest as brushing off chronic stress with phrases like, “That’s just how startups work” or “It’ll get better after this release.” You might even pride yourself on “pushing through,” ignoring the growing toll it’s taking on your well-being.
Real-World example: An engineer stuck in a toxic workplace repeatedly tells themselves, “It’s fine, all companies have issues,” even as they dread every standup and struggle to concentrate.
What to watch for: Cynical comments about work culture, an inability to recognize or accept personal limitations, and blaming others for everything that goes wrong.
Actionable insight: Acknowledge that stress is not a badge of honor. Admitting you’re overwhelmed is a strength – it’s the first step toward making meaningful changes.
Stage 7: Withdrawal from Others
As burnout deepens, isolation sets in. You withdraw from teammates, friends, and family, preferring to work alone or avoid interactions altogether. Collaboration feels draining, and social invitations start to feel like obligations.
For engineers, this stage might involve turning off your camera during virtual standups, skipping team lunches, or muting Slack channels to avoid communication. You may start declining invitations to game nights or coffee breaks, even though those connections once energized you.
Real-World example: An engineer who used to enjoy mentoring junior team members now avoids 1:1 sessions, feeling like they don’t have the emotional bandwidth to help anyone else.
What to watch for: A lack of engagement during meetings, avoiding feedback or collaboration, and feeling indifferent to team successes.
Actionable insight: Connection is key to recovery. Even small efforts, like attending a virtual coffee chat or joining a coworker for lunch, can help rebuild your sense of community.
Stage 8: Behavioral Shifts
By this stage, your burnout becomes visible to others. Your work habits and personality change in ways that are hard to ignore. You may become irritable, uncharacteristically quiet, or overly critical of minor details.
For software engineers, this might mean procrastinating on tasks you once enjoyed, nitpicking during code reviews, or obsessing over trivial things like variable names to avoid tackling more significant challenges.
Real-World example: An engineer known for their upbeat personality starts snapping at coworkers during pull requests and disengaging from brainstorming sessions. Their once-pristine work now shows signs of rushed errors.
What to watch for: Noticeable changes in your mood, work quality, or interactions with others.
Actionable insight: Pay attention to feedback from peers or loved ones. They often see changes in you before you do. Use their observations as a mirror to assess how you’re feeling.
Stage 9: Feeling Disconnected
At this point, you feel emotionally detached from your work, teammates, and even your sense of purpose. The enthusiasm you once had for solving problems and creating impactful solutions is replaced by apathy. Work feels meaningless, and you may find yourself questioning why you’re even doing it.
For engineers, this might look like losing interest in technologies or projects that once excited you. Tasks that used to be challenges now feel like chores, and you struggle to find motivation to complete even small pieces of work.
Real-World example: An engineer who once loved crafting elegant algorithms now feels like a “task machine,” churning out bare-minimum solutions just to get through the day.
What to watch for: A persistent sense of boredom, apathy, or feeling like your work doesn’t matter.
Actionable insight: Take time to reflect on your “why.” What drew you to this career in the first place? Sometimes reconnecting with your purpose or tackling a passion project can reignite your motivation.
Stage 10: Anxiety and Emptiness
At this stage, a profound sense of dissatisfaction takes hold. Anxiety over your workload, future prospects, or personal worth looms large. Even activities you once enjoyed outside of work fail to bring you joy.
For software engineers, this might involve compulsively scrolling through job boards, binge-watching tutorials without applying them, or endlessly chasing the “next big thing” in tech in hopes it will spark excitement again.
Real-World example: An engineer spends hours researching the latest JavaScript framework, convincing themselves that mastering it will make them feel fulfilled – but they never actually use it.
What to watch for: Chronic worry, restlessness, or seeking fleeting dopamine hits from unproductive activities.
Actionable insight: Shift your focus to small wins. Celebrate incremental progress in both work and personal life to break the cycle of emptiness.
Stage 11: Depression
At this stage, burnout becomes deeply entrenched. You begin questioning your career choice, doubting your abilities, and feeling like there’s no way forward. Hopelessness takes root, making even simple tasks feel insurmountable.
For engineers, this could mean daydreaming about quitting tech altogether, feeling like you’ll never catch up with the industry, or believing you’re not “cut out” for this work anymore.
Real-World example: An engineer finds themselves Googling “career changes for software developers” late at night, feeling like they’ve hit a dead end in their current role.
What to watch for: Persistent feelings of inadequacy, despair, or fantasizing about abandoning your career.
Actionable insight: Seek help. Whether it’s from a coach, therapist, or trusted mentor, having someone to guide you can provide the clarity and support you need to find a path forward.
Stage 12: Burnout Syndrome
The final stage is complete mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. You’re unable to function effectively, both at work and in life. Even basic tasks feel overwhelming, and you may struggle with chronic health issues as a result of prolonged stress.
For engineers, this might mean missing deadlines, forgetting fundamentals, or abandoning projects altogether. At this stage, it’s common to fantasize about quitting without a plan or taking an indefinite break from work.
Real-World example: An engineer who once thrived on challenges now calls in sick regularly, avoids opening their laptop, and wonders if they’ll ever enjoy working again.
What to watch for: Constant fatigue, physical ailments like migraines or stomach issues, and a desire to walk away from your career entirely.
Actionable insight: Recovery at this stage requires radical self-care and often professional intervention. Give yourself permission to take a break, set firm boundaries, and rebuild your resilience step by step.
How to Break Free from Burnout
The earlier you catch yourself on this path, the easier it is to recover. Recognizing these stages is the first step. The next step is taking action:
- Block Stressors: Set boundaries with your team, and learn to say no.
- Build Resilience: Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
- Rediscover Joy: Revisit hobbies or build something fun just for yourself.
Burnout in software engineering is real, but it’s not unbeatable. Join my newsletter to learn how to prevent burnout, recover faster, and create a career that doesn’t leave you running on empty. Together, we’ll rewrite the script – one stage at a time.
